Web s(L)ites Free Facts

As my dad would often say, "There's no such thing as a free lunch." The phrase originated with an offer first proffered in American saloons in the mid-1800s. In order to draw patrons, drinking establishment would offer free lunch as long as patrons purchased a drink with their meal. Elaborate economic discourses have ensued over the years, arguing that a free lunch is a logical impossibility. Still, if search data is any indication, we're obsessed with finding just about anything that's free.

Using the Hitwise database of U.S. Internet searches, I've amassed the most popular 10,000 search queries that contain the term "free." When compared to all Internet searches, terms that contain "free" are by far the most popular. For the week ending June 16, 2006, over 3.9% of all searches in the U.S. contained the term "free." The hunt for cost-free products and services ranged from "free games" (at 0.73%, the most popular of all "free" queries) and "free music" (0.70%) to searches for free ringtones, credit reports and myspace layouts. But by far the most searched for free items are of the prurient nature: four of the top 20 free searches are "free sex stories," "free sex," "free sex videos," and "free sex pics."

"Freeness" is seasonal; searches spike during the holiday season, surpassing 4.2% of all internet searches as holiday shoppers are lured by "free shipping" offers. Summers show an equivalent rise in free queries, as boredom and more leisure time drive interest in "free games," "free chat," "free movies" and of course "free myspace layouts."

The most surprising part of our "free" quests is just how optimistic our searches can be. There may be no such thing as a free lunch, but plenty of people look for the 78th most searched-for term, "free money." (Meanwhile, "free cash" is in the 1581st position.) I entered the query into Google to see if perhaps I had been missing out. The search results are dominated by a number of listings for sites that help you find federal grant money (not free—those are my tax dollars at work), sponsored listings for different loan products (definitely not free) and advertisements for services that help you find unclaimed funds.

It's ironic that, among the 10,000 "free" search terms, even into the long-tail of unique queries, there is one search term that is noticeably absent. Maybe the adage has conditioned us to think that searching for it would be even more futile than "free money." There's not a single search for "free lunch."

NYC REAL ESTATE

Our favorite open houses this week:
447 W. 18th St., Chelsea, $2,035,000
The Chelsea Modern isn't just a building -- it's an "award-winning" building, declares the broker description for this two-bedroom condo. Just bust that out the next time someone starts bragging a little too much about the joys of their pre-war classic six. It'll shut them up real quick. And even if it doesn't, you'll still have the Duravit soaking tub, floor-to-ceiling windows and maple floors.

Web site of the week

This is an advisory: If you've got one of those addictive personalities, don't go to Natefind.com. Because it's a little like the real-estate equivalent of heroin -- once you're hooked, you will never get off it.

Natefind is one of the easier real-estate search engines to commandeer. If you're on the lookout for an apartment, all you have to do is type in a price range and it will give you an assortment of apartments all over the city, including the outer boroughs. (It will also, if you care to look, give you listings in Philadelphia and the Hamptons.)

And because the site compiles properties from firms including Prudential Douglas Elliman, The Corcoran Group, Citi Habitats, Stribling, Halstead Property, Brown Harris Stevens and Bellmarc, it helps eliminate the need to search multiple sites. Plus, unlike all those broker sites, Natefind will tell you how much time each property has languished on the market and what the price per square foot is.

But here's the truly dangerous and addictive part -- the "new apartments" and "just reduced" sections will keep you constantly coming back to see which new developments are selling well and which ones aren't. Anybody in the market for new construction would be wise to visit many times each week.

Natefind is where you can discover that some units at The Parkwood on East 28th Street are going for $1,354 per square foot while others are going for $1,076 per square foot. It's where you can learn that the $32 million penthouse at TriBeCa summit has been on the market for 27 weeks.

The examples are too numerous to count... so see for yourself, but don't blame us if you just... can't... stop!

Superbad Is Coming

This coming-of-age teen sex comedy — co-written by and costarring Knocked Up's Seth Rogen and produced by comedy swami Judd Apatow — follows two high school seniors (Accepted's Jonah Hill and Arrested Development's Michael Cera) during a madcap night three weeks before graduation. ''We're not the dudes who get laid all the time,'' explains Hill, ''and the two girls that we've liked throughout high school ask us to buy them alcohol for a party.'' As director Greg Mottola (The Daytrippers) says, ''[it's] the classic quest. They concoct this idea that if they could just get these girls drunk, they would have sex with them maybe two months down the line.'' But what does that have to do with the eponymous James Brown song? ''It just seemed a nice phrase for the fantasy that these teenage dorks might have in a split second of feeling cool,'' says Mottola. Ah, yes. We know it well.

Invasion Is Coming

Here's an interesting factoid for you: When the cameras first started rolling on The Invasion back in September 2005, Daniel Craig hadn't even been cast as James Bond. So to find himself doing press for The Invasion now is ''strange,'' he admits. Still, ''it happens. I've been doing this long enough to take experiences like this in stride. Some films get pushed aside.''

And when they do, it's usually because the production was somehow troubled — a rumor, however unfortunate, now being circulated about The Invasion. Conceived as an updated version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the sci-fi political thriller, in which Craig and Nicole Kidman play doctors who fend off an extraterrestrial attack, sat in the can for 13 months before the cast reassembled in January for reshoots. The goal was to amp up the action and add a twist to the ending — only Oliver Hirschbiegel (Downfall) was no longer calling the shots. He'd been replaced by V for Vendetta director James McTeigue and the Wachowski brothers, which sent tongues wagging that producer Joel Silver had removed the German director for failing to deliver a sufficiently Hollywood movie. True? ''No!'' bellows Silver. ''Of course not. Oliver's wife was in the hospital.'' (It was actually Hirschbiegel's wife's sister, according to his agent.) ''I mean, what can I say?'' Silver asks, sounding annoyed. ''There are reshoots on almost every movie that I've been involved in. The Wachowskis always help us, and James McTeigue shot a couple of days. That's what happened.'' We'll have to take his word for it. Hirschbiegel declined to be interviewed. (Come to think of it, so did Kidman, who suffered minor injuries while filming a car chase for the movie last winter.)

And Craig? He's keeping as cool as 007. ''The only reason to go back and reshoot is to get the film right,'' he says. Let's hope it was worth the effort. (August 17)

My How Far We Fall So Quickly

Dog-loving Michael Vick is close to striking a plea deal, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution is reporting.

The paper, quoting "a person with knowledge of the negotiations," said an agreement could be reached before new dogfighting charges are handed down to the Atlanta Falcons quarterback.

Vick's co-defendants are expected to enter guilty pleas later this week. One pal, Tony Taylor, already pleaded guilty on July 30.

A 13-page statement signed by Taylor said the group ran Bad Newz Kennels in Surrey Co., Va., where they trained pit bulls. They dogs were abused, and at times, executed when they did not perform well, the statement said.

Fantasy Football Fans

PART 1 IN OUR SERIES

I will be listing what are in NFL FANTASY SLEEPERS oppion the best fantasy programs available. Heres my favorite CDM Fantasy Sports, headquartered in St. Louis, Mo., is one of the leading providers of fantasy sports products and services in North America. In business since 1992, CDM has operated games for some of the most respected names in the national sports media, including USA TODAY, USA TODAY/Sports Weekly, The Hockey News, The Golf Channel, PRIMEDIA Specialty Group and The Sporting News, for major Internet entities such as The Excite Network, MSNBC, Snap and The Lottery Channel, as well as under the CDM brand.
CDM currently offers baseball, football, basketball, hockey, golf and auto racing fantasy games that can be played via a variety of methods, including phone, mail, fax, and the Internet. YOU CAN LEARN MORE HERE

Crazy Eights

Crazy eights.

A baby born in Liverpool was born at 8:08 a.m. on 8/8 this year weighing 8 pounds after its mom spent - you guessed it - eight hours in labor.

Capping off baby Lulu's octa-feat, the midwife who assisted in her birth helped deliver seven other babies that day, for a total of, er, eight.